Big Girls Defend Themselves
I’ve always had to defend myself. I’ve always had passive aggressive or silent friends—especially guy friends—that would never defend me. I have foggy memories of junior high and high school and early college years of being in tears, my heart breaking in my chest and without a person to stand up for me. So I sometimes get mean to protect myself.
Then I have friends like J. He’s the brother I always wanted. I told him a random story, just as I’ve done in past years, and thought nothing of it. Basically, someone treated me unkindly, but I shrug it off.
Instead, J gets mad for me. He’s the gentlest of souls, he wouldn’t hurt another unless in absolute defense, but he loves fiercely.
He considers my heart. He’s not passive aggressive. He doesn’t tell me he loves me and leaves me to be a big girl to fight my own battles.
No, he encourages me. He hears me, and he stands by me. He is mad for me. He reminds me that he loves me, and he feels for me.
He’s my family.
He doesn’t tell me “big girls don’t cry”. No, J is likely to say “don’t cry,” and wipe tears from my eyes or get misty eyed right with me. Because he’s the brother I never had.
I am so grateful.
That moment when…
your guy friend posts a picture on Instagram (and facebook) that you randomly took of him and suddenly 3 random girls start following you on Instagram and subtweet you. O_O
It’s like, girl, we’re in college. I’m 22, you’re 18. Get over yourself.
Christian School probs, small school probs, social media probs…
This is what happens when your school ratio is 4:1
#crush the thoughts
The worst part is knowing he’s not thinking about you while all your thoughts are filled with him.
That’s the hardest part about a crush, right? This one-sided attraction when you look at this guy in your life and think “oh yes, your blue-green eyes are beautiful. They way you dress up or dress down is attractive. Oh, we’re bantering, we’re getting closer, and I hope you might like me too.”
Then, before you know it, you’re ship has sunk and you’re going under into the spell you swore you wouldn’t get tangled in again.
The very worst part though, are the thoughts. The thoughts that race a hundred miles an hour, everything to do with him…and knowing that none of his are on you.
"You have such a big heart, you’re bound to have it bump a couple of things along the way. Never make it smaller so that your journey will be easier, because there might come a time when you will need the magnitude of your heart to help others in this life. No one wishes the sun to be smaller so that they can find their way west or the north star to find their way home. Be grateful for your big heart, for with each pump brings new life."